She was the first to give him Adderall. Adderall is a wonder drug if one wants to stay up all night studying, playing video games, wandering around Vegas, or finishing a day’s worth of farm work before lunch, or driving 1,300 miles in less than 24 hours.
She was just trying to share and be close to him back then. That was back when he didn’t show her he loved her enough or maybe he didn’t love her then or maybe he just didn’t know it yet. He just showed her he loved to fuck her and spend time with her. The thing is, it is never as simple as that. Someone always wants more while someone else wants less or nothing at all. Remember, the one who loves the least has the most control.
People want to hear they are loved and then if they don’t believe the words they want to be shown by actions. If they don’t believe that display then they want both or they get paranoid, jealous or possessive. He does love her, he meant to show it more and he never wanted to truly possess her, just share their existence. However long that was for them. Whether that was hours, days, months, weeks, or years.
Maybe that’s where he went wrong. Maybe he should’ve been a psychopath, beating her guy friends till they bled and bones shattered in his hands and cracked in their faces, hacking her phone, reading her email, Myspace, journals etc. Would that have shown her he cared and he didn’t want her to be with anyone else and he didn’t want anyone but her?
He should’ve shown her then, at the beginning that he really cared, her way (whatever way that was). On the other hand, she shouldn’t have believed anyone but him in matters regarding him and he shouldn’t have ever let her get away with being nosey, a trickster and a liar…
If they can’t change or better the past, they can better the future and destroy themselves from the inside out in the present. Well at least until the future comes and then they will all be changed. Changed for good, for good.
3 Comments
Update your blog, man.
er, SON.
“Dostoesky:” I did!
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